I'm doing a club talk for tonight at South Salem Young Life. Here is my rough draft of what I will be sharing.
I know a lot of us are in a crisis. We are searching for an identity. We want to know who are we? What are we good at? What is our purpose in life?
I lived my life searching for purpose. I used to be a huge fan of WWF. I even saw some events live. I remember painting my face and wrapping my wrists and biceps (or the lack thereof) with electrical tape, just like the pros. I had a bunk bed and some gigantic stuffed animals (which I grew out of), but I still kept them and used them as wrestling opponents. I pretty much wanted to be a professional wrestler… or entertainer. I didn’t really like the wrestling part, I rather enjoyed the acting and show of it all instead.
Then I thought I was supposed to be an actor, or maybe an entertainer, or perhaps a football player. Once I got onto the Frosh football team my freshman year, I knew that I loved football. Even though I wasn’t a starter, I figured if I did my best and strived my hardest, I could be on the sidelines watching the best that the NFL has to offer.
It was Wednesday October 30th, and I just had the best week of football practice. It ended even better when the Defensive coach told me I was going to be starting at Defensive Back. I was so excited to tell my dad and step mom that after practice I ran into the house to share my joy. I was thrown back with a sad face upon my parents. All they could say was “We lost her.” I didn’t know what they meant. I knew they were talking about my 3-month-old sister, but I didn’t understand what happened. My dad then said “She’s no longer with us.” I was so confused. Did she go with someone else, or what? Finally, I realized that she died.
She died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Basically, she just stopped breathing her sleep. My dad blamed God, and I had no answer. I had no idea how to explain what happened to my sister or why God would allow such a thing to happen. I wanted to express my feelings toward God and at the same time explain to my parents why my baby sister had to die. I ended up writing a song that told a story of one of God’s angels in charge of my sister’s life.
I had no idea how big of an affect it would have on my parents. It touched them, and even though I didn’t have the right words, God was using me to speak to them. I then realized my calling was to write stories in song format with morals and understandings. I was still young, and still seeking for the truth myself. But now with a divine purpose to write songs, I felt even more encouraged and obligated to search for the morally right answers and share all the knowledge I obtained.
Since then I have written around 500 songs. Not all of them were turned into songs, and not all of the songs were recorded. But now I have identity and purpose in my writing and story telling and truth sharing. I am a tool that God can use to speak to those that might not know how to communicate with Him.
Does that sounds pretty simple for me? I know that something dramatic doesn’t happen to everyone. Not everyone has a testimony that is life changing. But we ALL do have a testimony. A testimony is the triumph and victory of a test or trial. Have you ever been challenged? Have you ever overcome an obstacle? That is a testimony. God allows good and bad things to happen in our lives so that we will take notice to Him. If my sister never lived and died, would I have ever questioned God and why he does what he does? He used her to get my attention. My testimony is that my sister died, I asked God why? And through searching I found my calling – to write and I most importantly found God. I began a relationship with him. That is my life’s purpose, to be in a relationship with Him and do things for him and with him.
Keep in mind, not everyone has a testimony or hears their calling right away. Sometimes it takes a lot of time and a lot of life to be lived first. All I know is, the sweet isn’t as sweet, without knowing the sour. Does that make sense? How would I know how GREAT, GOOD, AWESOME, & AMAZING our God is, if I didn’t know how horrible the world could be. If I didn’t know that we live and we die. Isn’t there a purpose during those years of life? Yes: to live for Him, to be His friend.
Do you look at yourself and try to figure out what you are supposed to be? Why don’t you try to look around you? Do you fit with anybody else in your life? Are you friends with this person or that person? Do you distance yourself from this person or that person? There is a good reason you are where you are, for a purpose.
Instead of asking yourself: “what am I good for, I have no talents.” Ask the creator of this big picture where you fit in. Ask how you can assist his puzzle. Be a piece that fits and works with the rest of the pieces for his purpose, to fulfill this big picture. Now, is that simple enough? Is that tangible? This week at school, think of the people placed in your life. Consider it to all be on purpose.
Now, are you the piece that fits with another piece? Or are you a piece that others fit with you? You can be the one to encourage and inspire and change someone’s day for the better. Or someone can be the one to encourage and inspire and change your day for the better. Just be aware of your surroundings and how God is using you for his divine plan.
